I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
