No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize