Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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