I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
