big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
