drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize