Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
