I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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