a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
