Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
