How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
