Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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