opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
