lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
