i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
