Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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