Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
