you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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