Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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