dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
