I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
