it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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