Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize