He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
