...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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