I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
