Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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