summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Panties = found
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