Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
