Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
