Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize