whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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