Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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