Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
