i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
