Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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