He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
