I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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