Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
