The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
