That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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