I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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