that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
