Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
