You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
