this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
