so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dick very happy bro
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize