I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
