I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
