i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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