i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
