he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
