dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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