My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I touched a dick in church today
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
