Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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