she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Two words: blizzard sex
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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