She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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