Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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