he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You ruined the universe
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
