so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
