great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
time to smoke my breakfast
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
