i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
