After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We are all done wearing pants today
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
