Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize