I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
