We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
