bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
